I have decided that instead of talking about it, I will BE about it. There are so many thoughts that I have daily and I go back to asking myself "What am I doing wrong?" And over the weekend I found out what I was doing wrong. Nothing...absolutely NOTHING! The reason I'm not where I want to be is because all I do is talk about it. I'm not about that life! LOL! It comes to a point in life where instead of someone else telling you that you you're not about that life, you have to tell yourself! And that's when you realize that you are making the most important move in your life. Over the weekend I decided that whatever it was that I wanted to do, I was going to pursue it. Doesn't matter how tired I am, how late I am, nothing is or will from now on stop me from having more than what I have in life. I hope that I can touch someone to tell themselves that it's more to life than the day to day of it. And if you recently made a change and find yourself getting back into a routine, change it again! It's been over seven months since I made the drastic change of moving out of state and I am finding myself back into a day to day routine. No, sir. Not me! *in my Rozay voice* I refuse to be caught up in something that makes me stressed, looking for more, and unhappy! No more! So stop babying yourself, pull up your big girl drawls and go reach for the dream. Whether small or big, it's your dream and no one can tell you otherwise. Stay blessed.
So the whole reason for me starting a blog is that my mind runs like an open app (you might see me say this a MILLION times but that's the whole purpose of saying my mind is like an open app) Any who, I have been on Entrepreneur.com for the last two days and looking at low budget ideas I could do to start up my own business from home. Although I am working on a doctoral degree, my goals in life is to be a housewife, but a working one from home. I love the fact that I can stay at home with my children, run around and do errands, shop, be domestic, and not have to worry about the stresses of a 9:00-5:00. Well, in my case now a 7:30-5:15, Monday through Friday. And the crazy thing about that thought is....I don't even have kids yet! But the early bird gets the worm right?! So I'm thinking ahead. One of my new found interest that I have come across is sewing and reupholstering furniture. The good thing about that is I will have time to shop in thrift stores and consignment shops for the best item. The bad thing is I have little sewing skills! I took a beginners sewing class back in June and it turned out to be easier than I expected. However, I have yet to buy a sewing machine; hopefully that's in the works around Christmas time. *fingers crossed* With that being said, I think I will take my entrepreneur skills and plans into the New Year and have that be one of my New Year's Resolutions: to begin sewing and starting a small business making small moves. I read a really good article on Entrepreneur.com that talked about ditching your billion-dollar business ambitions....click here for the story. I will also be helping my soon-to-be hubby make some moves on a landscaping/lawn business. I can say that 2013 has been a good year for me thus far, but I see 2014 opening more doors than I could have ever expected! Thank you Lord! :)
It has come to my attention that many of the children in this current generation have NO fear that I had when it came to being respectful and following directives that are given by adults. Even children don't have the respect or integrity to follow the directives that are given by their own parents! Needless to say we are also in the generation where technology is way more advanced and they are pumping steroids in our chicken and contaminating our fruits and vegetables. I don't blame some parents for having their children being vegetarians at the ripe age of five (and believe I know some that are). But the lack of fear and respect for adults is out of control. I don't expect children to fear adults in a way that would leave them feeling intimidated and terrorized for the rest of their life, but hell can they at least know that once an adult raises their voice they aren't playing games! In my role as a school counselor, I'm not a disciplinarian even though I am left with the students who misbehave the most. Which at times I feel is an advantage because I don't have to deal with the administrative side of behavior and then a disadvantage because the students don't take me seriously or don't listen to me at all. This comes from the lack of respect that is being instilled in children of this generation and goes to show how much respect they have of any one of authority. This also becomes an emotional drain on the end of being a counselor because you have to play so many different scenarios in your head and utilize techniques for each individual child. As you learn in grad school, "one technique doesn't work for all children." You literally end up racking your brain sometime just to figure out a trigger for one child and then you find out that technique fails. Or is that just me? *looks around sheepishly* Overall, I don't know if it's the children, the parents, or both. We can all say its because there are children raising children...yeah yeah yeah. However, some of those children grew up with some type of fear so who do we "blame" that on? I place blame in quotations because there is no one particular person, place or thing that we can blame it on. Everyday I find myself taking notes on what steps I would take to avoid such and what I can do to instill the "fear" that is needed in order for children to know that they must respect authority and all authority. Those they know and those they don't know because they never know one day they may meet that person again and really need them....what goes around comes around and trust it's coming, you just don't know when...
The envious man grows lean at the success of his neighbor.–Horace
I do not like to be envious or jealous of what any one has. I understand that they hustle, put in hard work, or are just plain ol’ lucky! I say that just to say that YouTube is really hurting me. I look at these women on there and I am SO jealous! Like, you really have that much time AND money to spend on clothes and shoes, while I’m over here trying to budget but DYING to shop. Shopping is therapy for me…retail therapy and I don’t make my therapy sessions any better by watching women who have the time and money to do so. I understand that YouTubers get paid to do what they do and some also have sponsors who send them items to review for free. I wanna be one of the girls! I love FREE stuff! (In my best Pops voice from Friday). Maybe, just maybe, I would be able to review stuff via my blog. Like I’ve said before I want to start a YouTube channel, I just don’t want to be another one of the millions talking about the same thing (hair, beauty, fashion). My calling is coming one day….one day….
I signed up for to sell Mary Kay and become my own Independent Beauty Consultant in June. Needless to say, from the title of this post, I decided to end that business and move on to something different. Although Mary Kay would allow me to make my own schedule and my own money, I just wasn’t feeling it like I did when I signed up. Plus it was hard to get people past the “old” Mary Kay and the lines like, “Mary Kay broke me out.” I heard that one too many times. It was just a stressful situation to even get to talk to women, many who I did not know, and try to sell them a product that has the brand to be used by “old women” and “grandmas.” I wasn’t into that and only sold one product since June so why continue the hassle. What to do next? My next few projects that I have in mind are creating my earring organizer, making new earrings, and working towards buying a sewing machine. I have had the thought of buying thrifted items and revamping them to fit today’s style. It may not be until the end of the year before I get a sewing machine though. Plus with a wedding that I am planning, I don’t know if buying sewing machine would be the ideal thing to do. Although there are many DIY projects I would like to have for the wedding so the sewing machine idea is 50/50. If any of you have any suggestions on what I could do to cut down costs, PLEASE let me know. I’m also working back on getting back on my coupon game. I really need to save every penny, nickel, and dime I can at any price. I’ll keep trying to make that dollar out of fifteen cents…
Why, oh, why is Target undeniably a magnet to go spend money?!?! It NEVER fails that I can go in Target with one thing in mind and come out with five plus things that I say I really needed, however, it was more of a want. There are TOO MANY incidences to count on hand how I went to “look” and came out with about the store purchased! One thing I can say is that although I spend money that wasn’t meant to be spent, many of the items I buy, that’s not regular price, are on clearance. I went to Target about 2 weeks ago and spent $60 dollars on clothes and shoes, but EVERY item was either 50-70% off! A trick/tip that I learned from Pinterest(another addictive site) is that Target marks their items off daily by department. Also, the tip is if the clearance items last price digit is an “8,” it will get marked down again. If the items last price digit ends in a “4,” thats the lowest the item will be (disclaimer: haven’t tested the theory fully, but seems to be true). I wouldn’t say wait until the price ends in an “8″ or “4,” however, I would say wait until you feel you are ready to make a purchase and a thoughtful purchase at that. Most times I purchase items that end in an “8″ because there are only one or two items of that article left. If there are multiple items of the same thing, then I wait about a week to check and see if the price is marked down again. If it’s not, I repeat. If it is, I BUY! That simple. I’m trying to do better, but I think the bullseye subliminally hypnotizes people to come in. Damn you Target, damn you.
Before this year, I was so use to planning what I wanted to happen and hoping that it would happen in due time, meaning MY time, but for some reason it never did. I was dating a guy at one point when he told me, “When you plan, God’s laughs.” That stuck with me more than he did because I came to realize that all the planning and everything I went through trying to make things happen, God’s time and plans He already had for me wouldn’t allow it. I can remember when I was younger that I would talk about wanting something so much or planning to do something and it never happened. I guess I can laugh now because according to God it wasn’t meant to be. I have had my fair deal of relationships and when I say fair deal I use that term in its lightest form. I was constantly seeking for something, but always with the wrong guys. After the age of 23, I wasn’t dating just to be dating. I was looking to be with someone long term hoping that they wanted the same thing. Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side, until the season changes and the wind blows. Then the leaves become discolored, showing the grasses true color, which was either brown or no color at all, the sky wasn’t blue, more grayish, and the sunny days were far from keeping the thunderstorms away. Little did I know that God was still planning for me, through the sunny and rainy days. In September 2012, I had reconnected with a childhood sweetheart through the Recommended Friends list on Facebook. I eagerly hit “request friend” and went on to my News Feed a usual. Not long after sending the friend request was I greeted by him in my messages. We talked for a little just catching up on the “hey, how you doings” and “long time no sees.” He gave me his number yet I was hesitant to call. I went out of town that weekend and came back home to fulfill another week of duties. When the following weekend came, after being at my cousin’s house, I thought about hitting him up but again was still hesitant. ”Girl, go ahead and hit him up,” my cousin said to me. My only response was, “Okay.” LOL. Any who we made plans that night to meet up at the bar, talk and have some drinks. It was already late leaving my cousin’s house so I was a little nervous since I was going by myself. I arrived about ten minutes before him thinking all types of things. Am I going to like him? Does he look the same as he did when we younger? Of course he doesn’t fool, we’re GROWN! Okay just calm your nerves. He finally arrived, greeted me with a hug, and we went inside. I can’t tell you what we talked about, but we TALKED. For a good two hours until we got kicked out of the bar because they were closing (that’s what you get when you live in Virginia; bars that close EARLY smh). Anyway, he walked me to my car, hugged me with a nice tight hug. I still remember it like it was yesterday and I went home. He made sure that I made it home and its has been history since! That was God’s plan. For us to reconnect after YEARS of not talking or seeing each other and to pick up as if we never had stopped talking. God continues to bless me, us, since we moved to Florida, moved into our own place, and now are engaged to be married. Although things didn’t work out with others, even the one who reminded me of the quote, it was all in God’s time and planning. Ya’ll be blessed…
I often find myself comparing where I am and where I should be. I am only 27 and have a lot going for myself, but I don’t give myself the credit that I deserve. I’m always looking at the things I want versus the things that I need or already have. Being that I moved from Virginia to Florida, it took a lot of nerve and courage to move from my comfort zone to what I didn’t know. On top of that, during the time I moved I didn’t even have a job. Starting in 2010, I started taking more leaps of faith then sitting back and waiting until the time that I thought I was ready. Surprisingly, I have been faced with situations such as working part time or not having a job and having to pay rent, a car note, and utilities with no means of income at all. Those were the times that I knew I was being held on faith and my trust with the Lord became stronger. Now as I write this post, I feel that I’m disappointing Him because I’m always asking “what am I doing wrong?” And what I mean by that question is why don’t I have a nicer car, but I have a car. Why can’t I save money? But my bills and rent are paid. Why, why why? And I feel bad internally because I feel like I’m being selfish and not waiting for my time and comparing my time to someone else’s. The saying is that people don’t know the struggle someone else has been through to have what they have. I know it’s not the time for me to be wealthy or rich. The time for me is right now and right now I have what I need and more. Now I have to ask myself what am I going to say or do when I start asking what and why? I’ll have to remind myself of what it took to get to where I am, and how much I have grown…”Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows what’s best for us.”–Socrates. Everyone be blessed…
For sometime over a year now, I have been following “beauty gurus” and other subscribers on YouTube. I can say proudly (and with some bit of shame) that I faithfully check YouTube for new subscriber uploads and honestly watch them more than I watch television. I think there should be a rehab for YouTube as it becomes so addicting and you are easily influenced by subscribers. Before YouTube I was in to makeup, but to the very minimal. Once I started watching YouTube, I was faithfully in Target or CVS checking out the latest drugstore products (I wasn’t a fan of spending department store money on Lancome, Mac, or Makeup Forever). Next thing I know, I started encouraging my cousin to checkout the ladies that I followed. Then we were both calling each other saying “you see that Milani got these new colors out!?!” or “purples and browns look good on us darker toned girls.” It has become ridiculous! And the fact that you can eventually be paid through YouTube was even more entertaining as I thought to myself “they can do it, so can I.” The downfall to that thought….what the hell was I going to talk about! There are SOOOOOOO many females talking about makeup, fashion, beauty…ok I wouldn’t make the cut because I’m just learning makeup and I feel that my fashion sense is exactly what it is…MY fashion sense. Prior to this past June, I had locs but I recently cut them off. I have come to learn that there so many MORE females talking about natural hair then you can imagine. So I figured I’ll continue with my addiction to watch, but I won’t participate with the millions of subscribers who faithfully upload a video once or twice a week. For those who subscribe and upload, more power to you. And to those who subscribe and watch, more power to you as well. Remember stick to your guns and DO NOT get caught up in the hype. It’s not worth the debt in the end…
As some may or may not know, I am a Professional School Counselor for a charter school and I work with K-1 students. The argument within the school, with administration, is that we should not have to place incentives in place for students to behave or “do what they are supposed to do.” While I am all for this tactic, with students who already know how to behave, I don’t think this tactic works too well when you have students who come from lower-income families, have four to six older or younger siblings at home, and have no sense of respect for authority. Hell, they barely listen to their parents, if they aren’t getting beat upside the head first. I had to think back to my childhood days. Was it my behavior that allowed me to go to after school skating EACH and EVERY Wednesday after early release? Was it my behavior in school that allowed me to spend countless days and nights at my cousin’s house as we did our chores and waited for TGIF to come on ABC? I would have to say that most, if not all, adults had experiences in their childhood where their behaviors affected how they would be rewarded at home. I can recall a time I had gotten in trouble (can’t recall if it was at school, mostly likely at home), but I was allowed to still go skating after school. The only catch….I couldn’t skate that day. Do you know how it felt to be an experienced skater at eight years old and not be able to skate with the other kids and literally watch everyone roll by me for five hours!?! You can BEST believe I didn’t get in trouble anymore where my after school rights were taken from me. So why is it such a problem now that we all of a sudden expect for kids five through seven to automatically know what to do? They also understand that if they don’t follow directions or listen there isn’t a consequence for them anyway! These kids are so needy why not feed into that need!? Also, why not feed into what we the teachers and staff want and that is to go home happy because at least 80% of our students where successful behaviorally, academically, and socially? The saying is “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Well there are only so many times I can tell a child to sit down, be quiet, and listen without driving myself to the point of no return myself. You be the judge…
I ran across one of my follower’s pages on Instagram (@walt_leon) and this quote spoke to me. High volumes at that! I used to fight with my inner self all the time and still do at times. What levels does this speak to you?
