Fear...less???

It has come to my attention that many of the children in this current generation have NO fear that I had when it came to being respectful and following directives that are given by adults.  Even children don't have the respect or integrity to follow the directives that are given by their own parents!  Needless to say we are also in the generation where technology is way more advanced and they are pumping steroids in our chicken and contaminating our fruits and vegetables.  I don't blame some parents for having their children being vegetarians at the ripe age of five (and believe I know some that are).  But the lack of fear and respect for adults is out of control.  I don't expect children to fear adults in a way that would leave them feeling intimidated and terrorized for the rest of their life, but hell can they at least know that once an adult raises their voice they aren't playing games!  In my role as a school counselor, I'm not a disciplinarian even though I am left with the students who misbehave the most.  Which at times I feel is an advantage because I don't have to deal with the administrative side of behavior and then a disadvantage because the students don't take me seriously or don't listen to me at all.  This comes from the lack of respect that is being instilled in children of this generation and goes to show how much respect they have of any one of authority.  This also becomes an emotional drain on the end of being a counselor because you have to play so many different scenarios in your head and utilize techniques for each individual child.  As you learn in grad school, "one technique doesn't work for all children."  You literally end up racking your brain sometime just to figure out a trigger for one child and then you find out that technique fails.  Or is that just me?  *looks around sheepishly*  Overall, I don't know if it's the children, the parents, or both.  We can all say its because there are children raising children...yeah yeah yeah.  However, some of those children grew up with some type of fear so who do we "blame" that on?  I place blame in quotations because there is no one particular person, place or thing that we can blame it on.  Everyday I find myself taking notes on what steps I would take to avoid such and what I can do to instill the "fear" that is needed in order for children to know that they must respect authority and all authority.  Those they know and those they don't know because they never know one day they may meet that person again and really need them....what goes around comes around and trust it's coming, you just don't know when...

Do incentives encourage good behavior or delay gratification?!?

As some may or may not know, I am a Professional School Counselor for a charter school and I work with K-1 students.  The argument within the school, with administration, is that we should not have to place incentives in place for students to behave or “do what they are supposed to do.”  While I am all for this tactic, with students who already know how to behave, I don’t think this tactic works too well when you have students who come from lower-income families, have four to six older or younger siblings at home, and have no sense of respect for authority.  Hell, they barely listen to their parents, if they aren’t getting beat upside the head first.  I had to think back to my childhood days.  Was it my behavior that allowed me to go to after school skating EACH and EVERY Wednesday after early release?  Was it my behavior in school that allowed me to spend countless days and nights at my cousin’s house as we did our chores and waited for TGIF to come on ABC?  I would have to say that most, if not all, adults had experiences in their childhood where their behaviors affected how they would be rewarded at home.  I can recall a time I had gotten in trouble (can’t recall if it was at school, mostly likely at home), but I was allowed to still go skating after school.  The only catch….I couldn’t skate that day.  Do you know how it felt to be an experienced skater at eight years old and not be able to skate with the other kids and literally watch everyone roll by me for five hours!?!  You can BEST believe I didn’t get in trouble anymore where my after school rights were taken from me.  So why is it such a problem now that we all of a sudden expect for kids five through seven to automatically know what to do?  They also understand that if they don’t follow directions or listen there isn’t a consequence for them anyway!  These kids are so needy why not feed into that need!?  Also, why not feed into what we the teachers and staff want and that is to go home happy because at least 80% of our students where successful behaviorally, academically, and socially?  The saying is “Insanity:  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  Well there are only so many times I can tell a child to sit down, be quiet, and listen without driving myself to the point of no return myself.  You be the judge…