I have decided that instead of talking about it, I will BE about it. There are so many thoughts that I have daily and I go back to asking myself "What am I doing wrong?" And over the weekend I found out what I was doing wrong. Nothing...absolutely NOTHING! The reason I'm not where I want to be is because all I do is talk about it. I'm not about that life! LOL! It comes to a point in life where instead of someone else telling you that you you're not about that life, you have to tell yourself! And that's when you realize that you are making the most important move in your life. Over the weekend I decided that whatever it was that I wanted to do, I was going to pursue it. Doesn't matter how tired I am, how late I am, nothing is or will from now on stop me from having more than what I have in life. I hope that I can touch someone to tell themselves that it's more to life than the day to day of it. And if you recently made a change and find yourself getting back into a routine, change it again! It's been over seven months since I made the drastic change of moving out of state and I am finding myself back into a day to day routine. No, sir. Not me! *in my Rozay voice* I refuse to be caught up in something that makes me stressed, looking for more, and unhappy! No more! So stop babying yourself, pull up your big girl drawls and go reach for the dream. Whether small or big, it's your dream and no one can tell you otherwise. Stay blessed.
It has come to my attention that many of the children in this current generation have NO fear that I had when it came to being respectful and following directives that are given by adults. Even children don't have the respect or integrity to follow the directives that are given by their own parents! Needless to say we are also in the generation where technology is way more advanced and they are pumping steroids in our chicken and contaminating our fruits and vegetables. I don't blame some parents for having their children being vegetarians at the ripe age of five (and believe I know some that are). But the lack of fear and respect for adults is out of control. I don't expect children to fear adults in a way that would leave them feeling intimidated and terrorized for the rest of their life, but hell can they at least know that once an adult raises their voice they aren't playing games! In my role as a school counselor, I'm not a disciplinarian even though I am left with the students who misbehave the most. Which at times I feel is an advantage because I don't have to deal with the administrative side of behavior and then a disadvantage because the students don't take me seriously or don't listen to me at all. This comes from the lack of respect that is being instilled in children of this generation and goes to show how much respect they have of any one of authority. This also becomes an emotional drain on the end of being a counselor because you have to play so many different scenarios in your head and utilize techniques for each individual child. As you learn in grad school, "one technique doesn't work for all children." You literally end up racking your brain sometime just to figure out a trigger for one child and then you find out that technique fails. Or is that just me? *looks around sheepishly* Overall, I don't know if it's the children, the parents, or both. We can all say its because there are children raising children...yeah yeah yeah. However, some of those children grew up with some type of fear so who do we "blame" that on? I place blame in quotations because there is no one particular person, place or thing that we can blame it on. Everyday I find myself taking notes on what steps I would take to avoid such and what I can do to instill the "fear" that is needed in order for children to know that they must respect authority and all authority. Those they know and those they don't know because they never know one day they may meet that person again and really need them....what goes around comes around and trust it's coming, you just don't know when...
I often find myself comparing where I am and where I should be. I am only 27 and have a lot going for myself, but I don’t give myself the credit that I deserve. I’m always looking at the things I want versus the things that I need or already have. Being that I moved from Virginia to Florida, it took a lot of nerve and courage to move from my comfort zone to what I didn’t know. On top of that, during the time I moved I didn’t even have a job. Starting in 2010, I started taking more leaps of faith then sitting back and waiting until the time that I thought I was ready. Surprisingly, I have been faced with situations such as working part time or not having a job and having to pay rent, a car note, and utilities with no means of income at all. Those were the times that I knew I was being held on faith and my trust with the Lord became stronger. Now as I write this post, I feel that I’m disappointing Him because I’m always asking “what am I doing wrong?” And what I mean by that question is why don’t I have a nicer car, but I have a car. Why can’t I save money? But my bills and rent are paid. Why, why why? And I feel bad internally because I feel like I’m being selfish and not waiting for my time and comparing my time to someone else’s. The saying is that people don’t know the struggle someone else has been through to have what they have. I know it’s not the time for me to be wealthy or rich. The time for me is right now and right now I have what I need and more. Now I have to ask myself what am I going to say or do when I start asking what and why? I’ll have to remind myself of what it took to get to where I am, and how much I have grown…”Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows what’s best for us.”–Socrates. Everyone be blessed…
