Resolutions don't have to be New...

I decided that I want to take more control of what is going on in my life and do more!  I have some many interests that I haven't had the chance to enjoy and I decided that I want to take control and start now.  "It's my life and I'm taking control now!"  I have a lot that I feel I can offer others and I will be starting with training myself and jumping onboard.  I may also be a future YouTuber so look out!  What are your resolutions?  How do you find time to do the things you love versus those things you are "obligated" to do?

Make your next move your best move....

I have decided that instead of talking about it, I will BE about it.  There are so many thoughts that I have daily and I go back to asking myself "What am I doing wrong?"  And over the weekend I found out what I was doing wrong.  Nothing...absolutely NOTHING!  The reason I'm not where I want to be is because all I do is talk about it.  I'm not about that life!  LOL!  It comes to a point in life where instead of someone else telling you that you you're not about that life, you have to tell yourself!  And that's when you realize that you are making the most important move in your life.  Over the weekend I decided that whatever it was that I wanted to do, I was going to pursue it.  Doesn't matter how tired I am, how late I am, nothing is or will from now on stop me from having more than what I have in life.  I hope that I can touch someone to tell themselves that it's more to life than the day to day of it.  And if you recently made a change and find yourself getting back into a routine, change it again!  It's been over seven months since I made the drastic change of moving out of state and I am finding myself back into a day to day routine.   No, sir.  Not me!  *in my Rozay voice*  I refuse to be caught up in something that makes me stressed, looking for more, and unhappy!  No more!  So stop babying yourself, pull up your big girl drawls and go reach for the dream.  Whether small or big, it's your dream and no one can tell you otherwise.  Stay blessed.

God's Time

Before this year, I was so use to planning what I wanted to happen and hoping that it would happen in due time, meaning MY time, but for some reason it never did.  I was dating a guy at one point when he told me, “When you plan, God’s laughs.”  That stuck with me more than he did because I came to realize that all the planning and everything I went through trying to make things happen, God’s time and plans He already had for me wouldn’t allow it.  I can remember when I was younger that I would talk about wanting something so much or planning to do something and it never happened.  I guess I can laugh now because according to God it wasn’t meant to be.  I have had my fair deal of relationships and when I say fair deal I use that term in its lightest form.  I was constantly seeking for something, but always with the wrong guys.  After the age of 23, I wasn’t dating just to be dating.  I was looking to be with someone long term hoping that they wanted the same thing.  Of course, the grass is always greener on the other side, until the season changes and the wind blows.  Then the leaves become discolored, showing the grasses true color, which was either brown or no color at all, the sky wasn’t blue, more grayish, and the sunny days were far from keeping the thunderstorms away.  Little did I know that God was still planning for me, through the sunny and rainy days.  In September 2012, I had reconnected with a childhood sweetheart through the Recommended Friends list on Facebook.  I eagerly hit “request friend” and went on to my News Feed a usual.  Not long after sending the friend request was I greeted by him in my messages.  We talked for a little just catching up on the “hey, how you doings” and “long time no sees.”  He gave me his number yet I was hesitant to call.  I went out of town that weekend and came back home to fulfill another week of duties.  When the following weekend came, after being at my cousin’s house, I thought about hitting him up but again was still hesitant.  ”Girl, go ahead and hit him up,” my cousin said to me.  My only response was, “Okay.”  LOL.  Any who we made plans that night to meet up at the bar, talk and have some drinks.  It was already late leaving my cousin’s house so I was a little nervous since I was going by myself.  I arrived about ten minutes before him thinking all types of things.  Am I going to like him?  Does he look the same as he did when we younger?  Of course he doesn’t fool, we’re GROWN! Okay just calm your nerves.  He finally arrived, greeted me with a hug, and we went inside.  I can’t tell you what we talked about, but we TALKED.  For a good two hours until we got kicked out of the bar because they were closing (that’s what you get when you live in Virginia; bars that close EARLY smh).  Anyway, he walked me to my car, hugged me with a nice tight hug.  I still remember it like it was yesterday and I went home.  He made sure that I made it home and its has been history since!  That was God’s plan.  For us to reconnect after YEARS of not talking or seeing each other and to pick up as if we never had stopped talking.  God continues to bless me, us, since we moved to Florida, moved into our own place, and now are engaged to be married.  Although things didn’t work out with others, even the one who reminded me of the quote, it was all in God’s time and planning. Ya’ll be blessed…

What am I doing wrong?!??

I often find myself comparing where I am and where I should be.  I am only 27 and have a lot going for myself, but I don’t give myself the credit that I deserve.  I’m always looking at the things I want versus the things that I need or already have.  Being that I moved from Virginia to Florida, it took a lot of nerve and courage to move from my comfort zone to what I didn’t know.  On top of that, during the time I moved I didn’t even have a job.  Starting in 2010, I started taking more leaps of faith then sitting back and waiting until the time that I thought I was ready.  Surprisingly, I have been faced with situations such as working part time or not having a job and having to pay rent, a car note, and utilities with no means of income at all.  Those were the times that I knew I was being held on faith and my trust with the Lord became stronger.  Now as I write this post, I feel that I’m disappointing Him because I’m always asking “what am I doing wrong?”  And what I mean by that question is why don’t I have a nicer car, but I have a car.  Why can’t I save money?  But my bills and rent are paid.  Why, why why?  And I feel bad internally because I feel like I’m being selfish and not waiting for my time and comparing my time to someone else’s.   The saying is that people don’t know the struggle someone else has been through to have what they have.  I know it’s not the time for me to be wealthy or rich.  The time for me is right now and right now I have what I need and more.  Now I have to ask myself what am I going to say or do when I start asking what and why?  I’ll have to remind myself of what it took to get to where I am, and how much I have grown…”Our prayers should be for blessings in general, for God knows what’s best for us.”–Socrates.  Everyone be blessed…