Back at It Again with the Blog Posts!

WOW!  It's been so long that I have NOT blogged I didn't even give an update on the babies!  Life has definitely come in and taken it's toll.  I find myself not calling family or friends, in the house, or just trying to figure out what actually happened to my so called LIFE!  The twins will be 8 months this month!   Time sure does fly...especially when you are having fun.  They are crawling, babbling, and introducing their own personalities.  Miss Malaya is a D-I-V-A already honey!  And Mr. Junior is fun, cute, and can be sensitive.  Don't scream to loud or he will cry!  Those are my babies though and I am enjoying every part of motherhood.

I had decided back in October that I wanted to continue to pursue my PhD.  Guess what?  I decided to stop...AGAIN!  I really had no true career desires where I needed my PhD.  The good thing is that I have completed 30+ hours past the Masters and that adds into my income for my current job.  WHOOPEE!!!  Today is the LAST week of classes and I couldn't be more happier than saying that I am quitting school.  However, along with that comes a bill...and I mean a BIG bill.  While quitting school, I also reached my cap for Standardized/Unstandardized Financial Aid with the government.  $140,000 is what I owe them....yup you read that right....a whole house it was what I owe them for two sheets of paper and 36 hours worth of work.  SMH....they'll get their monies...soon or later...the latter part is what is going to happen.

Other than that I am just trying to be a better mother/daughter/sister/grandchild/counselor/friend that I can be overall.  Attempting to get my credit together so that this dream of purchasing a house this summer will become a reality.  We are currently in the process of buying a townhouse (more to come in a separate blog).  But life is life and every day I realize that I need to live it to its fullest!

As always, Peace & Happiness :)

~Erika B.

Changing from your Maiden to Married Name

Some women prefer to keep their maiden name rather than take on their husband's last name.  Not in my case.  I was happy to take on my husband's last name, however, I wasn't happy with the fact that I would have to drive around the world to get my name change!  There are some websites that will allow you to pay a fee and have all your information gathered in one sitting so that you can change your name.  But don't quote me, I believe you still had to send or drop off that information to the designated areas before anything would be changed.  

Here I am going to list some areas of importance on how you should go about getting your name changed.  The first few are most important and then the few afterwards are up to you and what timeframe you feel the need to change your name.

The number one priority item you will need for your name change is a CERTIFIED copy of your marriage license.  I was allowed to apply for a copy when I applied for my license to marry.  You could also go to the courthouse to request a copy.  Copies are charged by the fee so check with your local courthouse to see what the fees are.  

The number one place of importance of where you need to go to get your name changed is the Social Security Administration.  There you are going to need a picture id, as well as a CERTIFIED copy of your marriage license.  Also, you have to fill out an application with your new name change.  You will not have to pay anything (at least I didn't) while you are there.  They will give your a letter stating that your new social security card will be mailed within in five to ten business days so make sure you have an updated address.

Next, is to get your new license.  Of course again you will need the CERTIFIED copy of your marriage license, your old license, and a completed application.  According to DMV of Virginia, you will needed a completed "Driver's License and Identified Card" application (click here for link).  If you are like me with an out-of-state license, they just require that you have a license, that is VALID and up-to-date (unexpired).

If you are employed you want to be sure that your employer knows you are changing from your maiden name to your married name because you will have to refill out forms such as a W-4, and a state tax form (Form VA-4 in Virginia).  Also, you will have refill out your information for your medical/dental/vision insurance, life insurance, and any 401k, 403b, retirement plans, etc.

The last big ticket item will be going to your bank and/or credit union to inform them of your change.  You will have to go to the bank, in person, with your CERTIFIED copy of your marriage license.  There you can change all of your information on your account, apply for new debit/credit cards, and order new checks.

The following places can be contacted at your convenience:

• Notify creditors
• Landlord or mortgage
• Other insurances (auto, life, home, etc.)
• Doctor's offices
• Professional Licensing Boards
• Attorney (to update legal documentation)
• Utility companies
• Post office
• Passport (if you are going on a honeymoon that requires a passport, it is HIGHLY recommended that you change your name AFTER you come back).
• Voter Registration card
• Alumni Association(s)
• Checks and Credit Cards
• Student Loans
• Vehicle Titles
• Gym Membership 
• Social Media sites
• Home Address labels
• Email address/Email signature
• Business paraphernalia (business cards, brochures, etc.)
• Library card
• Online & Magazine subscriptions

I'm sure they are other places to change your name, but do as you see fit.  This is just an idea to get you started or help you with some places you may have forgotten.  Hope this helps!

Peace & Happiness!

~Erika B

Taking things for Granted

I feel that I am at the lowest point of lows in my life...and it's sad because it is L-O-W!  I hate when I do talk about how I feel, I always get the "things could be worse" spill and how "better things are to come."  I don't want to sound ungrateful for the thoughts and encouragement I receive, but when YOU are the one in the situation it doesn't matter what is said.  It's all about perception and my perception is skewed at this point because I know what I had and I can say that I took those things for granted.

Just three months ago, I was living in the Sunshine State, making a good salary, had my own place, my fiance, my own car; the norm when you live on your own.  Now here I am with no car (was totaled in an accident), I live with my mother and grandmother plus five others, my salary sucks as I took a HUGE paycut from a salary to hourly job, I'm back in the state of "lovers," and my fiance and I are apart.

I have been thinking about how I took the things that I lost for granted.  I needed a quote that was going to speak to me and it took me less than three seconds to find this:

This is no lie.  I miss the Florida weather, I miss the children I use to work with that worked my nerves, I miss my coworkers that didn't always see eye to eye with me, I miss my Altima that took me from here to there, I miss the lizards running across my yard.  I miss all the little things that I thought annoyed me more than anything!  It's funny how God will show you the things that you take least for granted and will force you to appreciate what you don't have that much more.  I am trying to remain optimistic; the glass is half full, but it's hard when you are sinking in your own sorrows too tired/worn down/beat up to save yourself.  

All I can ask is forgiveness and for others to pray for me.

Peace & [finding] Happiness,

~Erika

Reality VS Ideal

Back in June I wrote on "When Life Gives You Lemons..." I discussed the struggles that you go through in life.  Generally speaking, many people experience the up and downs of life, but its all about what perspective you take in making life better.  The way I see it, the glass is always half full.  Also, once you hit a low there is no where else to go but to the top.  You are here for a reason, a purpose, and although you are not sure for what, whether you believe in God or the Universe, your purpose will be revealed soon enough.

This morning when I woke up, I was scrolling through Instagram and ran across a picture from one of my followers.  I'm not going to lie, I am a true Instagram scrolly!  I do that before I even get up to brush me teeth!  Raise your hand if you're with me!  Anyway, this picture struck a cord with me because lately I have been dealing with the struggles of my relationship.  I'm not going to lie, when things are up for me they are up and when they are down I may feel like I am at the lowest of lows and these feelings have really been putting a test to my relationship.  But not just with my significant other, but more so testing ME to see what it is that I will do when times get tough.  I often say "My enemy is my inner me."  I know there are battles within myself that I am going to have to deal with the rest of my life.  One of them being self-control.  I would tend to let myself indulge in gratification whether it was good or bad.  Since I have been in a serious relationship, with a man I want to marry, I have been evaluating myself.  I don't ever put all the blame on him because I know I have a role to play in making not only each other happy, but ourselves happy as well.  

Back to the Instagram picture, this is what it said...

I can honestly say that right away this picture spoke VOLUMES to me!  I was happy and relieved at the same time because I can say that there are others out there who battle the same demons I do.  But again the glass is half full and positive perspectives are put in place so that you know anything is possible.

With all this said, always reevaluate what you have done, what you plan to do, and what is going on now.  You cannot change the past or predict the future, but you can control what is going on right now.  And right now is the time for you to shift your focus from past-future and live in the present.

I hope that you all have a blessed Monday and until next time...
Peace & Happiness :)

~Erika

When Life Gives You Lemons...

It's been a while since I have wrote on my blog and by the title of this you can tell that there's a story behind it.


As of April 30th, I made the move (back) from Florida to Virginia.  Packed what we had and said goodbye to the Sunshine State.  Please it was not by choice! [super sad face]. 


Not too long after the move, after providing me with over five years of service, my White Unibody MacBook died on me ;( RIP MacBook.  You took me places I never new including transitioning from the PC to Apple world.


Since then I have been working Part-time at JCPenney and just trying to make the best of life.  Hence I have been handed lemons so I can either suck it up or continue to build from it.  I was excited that I did get my #VowVoxBox in the mail the other day!  Oww, Oww!  I was excited to receive the new Olay Regenerist Luminous Tone Perfecting cream, a Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure nail polish in Barracuda, an offer code for Riley & Grey, Pure Silk Moisturizing Shave cream, an EcoTools Pure Complexion sponge, and a Tide to Go Pen.  This was my first BIG box I received and I am so grateful for +Influenster for all that they do and share with us so I can share with others!


Other than that life has been a complete....you fill in the rest.  I am thankful for what I have:  a roof over my head, food to eat, a job even when it doesn't pay much, and family support.  Those are my lemons...the things that strengthen me the most to keep pushing into life.


I came up with a quote a few weeks ago when spirit was talking to me:  "Struggles are real but are the most appreciated times of your life.  Be open to nothing because you will always have something."  My somethings are my family, friends, food, shelter, support, strength, anything positive that will keep me going is my something.


What is yours?


~Erika

YouTube Groupie!

I have been addicted to YouTube for over the last year and when I say addicted I mean if the Internet went down today I think I would totally die.  But for real though 0_o.  I watch YouTube more than I watch TV.  I find myself grabbing for my computer soon as I get off work and now it's creeping into my work life!  I NEED REHAB!!!  LOL!  But with all that said I finally decided to join the YouTube community and I released my first video on Sunday!  YAY for me!!!  Check me out...my username for YouTube is ebanx151, but you can find me through Google+ @ebanx15!  I will be doing reviews on my channel and hope to start talking about saving money at the store through couponing and rewards systems.  

If you don't want to go through all the trouble, click the link here to find my channel right away!

Enjoy.  Like. Comment. Subscribe.  The best thing is that it's FREE!

Peace & Happiness :)

Erika

Achieve your dreams in 2014!

Okay...shoot me....I came up with a corny, cliche type of quote, but hey it fits the time!  I woke up this morning in such a great mood!  I enjoyed myself last night/early morning with my family and friends, having a small kickback at our house.  It was wonderful to spend it with the people you love and that's my thing for 2014:  LOVE!  I am getting married in 6 months and love is in the air as I have witnessed four people from Christmas to now getting engaged!  I am thankful, blessed and ready to achieve those dreams that I have.  I read a WONDERFUL article on Facebook today from Entrepreneur.com.  Please check it out here!  Recognize your systems, rather than your goals!  If you want to know what I mean, READ THE ARTICLE!  Anywho, here are a few pics from the night!  

OOTN "Mo Betta Blues"

Shirt:  JCPenny

Shorts:  Forever 21

Boots:  BCBGeneration

Tights:  House of Holland

Earrings:  Phoenix Rising Boutique

My honey and I decided to dress alike in colors :)

Hope your enjoy your New Year!

Peace & Happiness!

~Erika~

Come as You Are

I have had this T-shirt for some time now and today is the first day that I wore it.  I found it fitting since it was Sunday and I wanted to "Dress to Impress."  I got a few stares and one person asked me if it was really my church clothes.  Hey, what can I say! :)

Shirt:  Thrifted

Pants:  Forever 21

Shoes:  Kids Foot Locker (KD VI)

Earrings:  Body Central

Shades:  Forever 21

Hope every enjoyed their Sunday Funday!!!

Peace & Happiness!

~Erika

Resolutions don't have to be New...

I decided that I want to take more control of what is going on in my life and do more!  I have some many interests that I haven't had the chance to enjoy and I decided that I want to take control and start now.  "It's my life and I'm taking control now!"  I have a lot that I feel I can offer others and I will be starting with training myself and jumping onboard.  I may also be a future YouTuber so look out!  What are your resolutions?  How do you find time to do the things you love versus those things you are "obligated" to do?

Career Change

Lately, I have been pondering over my current career choice and I'm not too satisfied.  Maybe because I'm working with elementary, maybe because of the population I work with, but overall I'm not happy with where I am at in my career.  I have been going over things that I am really passionate about and what disappoints me the most is that there isn't one specific thing that I am great at!  I am the type of person that if you show me how to do something or I can pick it up by watching then I am good to go.  So with that being said, I did some Googling earlier last week and ran across a book.  What Color is Your Parachute?:  A Practical Guide for Job Seekers and Career Changers.  I read Chapter 1 with my fiance and instantly drawn into what was said.  There are little things that we do now that we don't know that is effecting our ability to get a job or should I say career.  If anyone is out there searching for something, I suggest you seek this book.  There are many different versions as they change as the years go so I suggest getting the new 2014 edition.  If anyone is able to offer any advice, my ears and heart are open!  Stay blessed.

Make your next move your best move....

I have decided that instead of talking about it, I will BE about it.  There are so many thoughts that I have daily and I go back to asking myself "What am I doing wrong?"  And over the weekend I found out what I was doing wrong.  Nothing...absolutely NOTHING!  The reason I'm not where I want to be is because all I do is talk about it.  I'm not about that life!  LOL!  It comes to a point in life where instead of someone else telling you that you you're not about that life, you have to tell yourself!  And that's when you realize that you are making the most important move in your life.  Over the weekend I decided that whatever it was that I wanted to do, I was going to pursue it.  Doesn't matter how tired I am, how late I am, nothing is or will from now on stop me from having more than what I have in life.  I hope that I can touch someone to tell themselves that it's more to life than the day to day of it.  And if you recently made a change and find yourself getting back into a routine, change it again!  It's been over seven months since I made the drastic change of moving out of state and I am finding myself back into a day to day routine.   No, sir.  Not me!  *in my Rozay voice*  I refuse to be caught up in something that makes me stressed, looking for more, and unhappy!  No more!  So stop babying yourself, pull up your big girl drawls and go reach for the dream.  Whether small or big, it's your dream and no one can tell you otherwise.  Stay blessed.